It's my titbits

the first photo I took with my St. John Ambulance uniform, I looks serious ya? Do I looks professional? hehe...

I still remember, our teacher asked us not to smile when we sat infront the camera because we need to be serious as this will be the photo on our identity card and my teacher believe we looked professional if we face expression looked serious.

And now, I wishes I can tell my teacher she was wrong!! I was a St. John Ambulance member and I had passed the examination organized by the board of SJAM. I still shocked and stunned when somebody suddenly faint infront of me. So, I pretty sure that I am 'professional'...=P

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I am a genius! Genius in wasting my time... I wasted my holidays again...Sigh.. Exam coming in January, everyone around me seems like very concern about self-studying but what I am doing? Youtubing? Facebooking? doing nothing? ARGH!! Why I can't just concentrate in my studies? I still have many journals which I havent read yet... Would I repeating the same mistake I done in my year 1 again? No!! I should stop it from happening...

I might have to take the QM2a test alone on next week. It might be one-to-one which means I take the test in a room where only my lecturer and me in it. Hopefully it would be my lecturer and not the irritating assistant!!

There are 4 stages living things must go through it, which included:

-Live
-Becoming older
-Sickness
-death

My grandfather had went through all of it others than the last and finally he experienced the last today... He rests in peace, stay away from sickness and suffering, and his life journey ended when he is 83 years old. Is dying a terrified process? I do not know about it, only my grandfather knows it.

Uncles and aunties came back to grandpa's house to prepard the funeral which I do not know much about it, unwilling to help although I wants to do so...

I failed to do anything about it. That is the only thing I wants to say.

It is very hard to communicate with people who never say sorry, some people just think they will never make mistake, not even once. Perhaps I am not a good daughter and he can't be a great father... but why the god put us together? I am going to be adult soon, I have my own thinking and when he can't win the argument between us he just use his power card... he said "because I am father and you are daughter and you have to follow what I say...for no reason."

I am sick... sick with all the arguments around me... I needs a peaceful land for my own, my room is not yet as peaceful as what I want, I need a place which away from all the arguments because I am tired with all the arguments I have made. Sometimes I wondering, am I the one who started the argument? or people come to argue with me because they think that is fun?

What could I do? I am so tired to fight... should I give up? No... I am not going to do so... My life and my destiny should in my own hands not him... study hard and get a good job...i think that is the only way to escape...